Special request for Darnell Dockett an Maurice Jones-Drew. Worst Nas song ever…


THE Ohio State University.

For a school with such pretentious alumni, they should probably start recruiting individuals that can keep their names out of police blotters, and NCAA investigations. Although, the arrogance does start at the top with the bowtie wearing E. Gordon Gee proclaiming that postseason tournaments to determine a champion is a slippery slope. And let’s not forget about his comment regarding the Little Sisters of the Poor. So it’s no surprise when The Tat Five got cleared to play in the Sugar Bowl despite breaking the NCAA’s rules, THE Ohio State plays by their own rules.

Enter Chris Carter. No, not THAT Chris Carter, THE Ohio State football recruit Chris Carter. Let’s all read,

Cleveland Police said a 15-year-old girl told officers that Carter took her out of her classroom and into a room behind the JFK auditorium and told her he needed to measure her for the uniform.
"Once inside the room, (Carter) asked the victim to take off her sweatshirt and shirt so he could take her measurements," the police report said. "He cut off the lights… and stated ‘I need you to take your bra off.’ The arrested male than put his arms under her arms from behind and attempted to pull her bra up."
The girl told police she refused to cooperate and left the room.

Brilliant! Any fitting I’ve ever had to take part in required the lights being turned off and plenty of nekidness. (Maybe Carter just saw the episode of Friends with Joey’s tailor?) And like any good tailor, Carter also kept a journal of various girls sizes. I’m sure this kid is an immense football talent, but does education play a role in admission at this university, at all? Or is it just athleticism and upside that counts?

(Source: eye-on-recruiting.blogs.cbssports.com)


Da Beard (A Haiku)

I make The Diesel

I’m shelter for small creatures

Milk makes me smell bad

I think ultimately we as coaches feel as if the buck stops here – that we’re the ones that need to make things even more crystal clear than when a compliance officer might spend time with our team or an outside speaker or whatever it happens to be. The bottom line is that we feel as if that’s our responsibility, so obviously we don’t feel good about the fact that we fell short.

Jim Tressel

Hey, at least he wasn’t exceeding the amount of hours the NCAA allows his team to practice. They would have a serious problem on their hands if that were the case…

(Source: Yahoo!)


The New England Patriots Fearless Leader.

The best description of what you are witnessing came from Deadspin commenter NYSportsJerk:

The awkward above-head clapping. The subtle shuffling of the feet. The short manageable hairstyle.

It’s like every woman at the last Billy Joel/Elton John concert.

A close second would be the different variations comparing Brady to Elaine from Seinfeld.

(Edit comment)

(Source: deadspin.com)


I Agree.

Well said.


It All Makes Sense.

The e-mails between Cicero and Tressel, which were chummy in tone, were redacted by Ohio State officials to protect the lawyer’s identity as well as the names of the football players. However, there is no exception in the state’s public-record law that allowed Ohio State to withhold his name.

So Christopher T. Cicero doesn’t even know the public-record law in the state he practices in? I know he went to law school at Toledo, but don’t they at least teach common sense at THE Ohio State University?

(Source: dispatch.com)


NCAA Corruption. (Long rant, sorry.)

This little scheme of mine is a pipe dream, I know it will never happen. But this is a rough draft of what I would like the NCAA to do when it uncovers cheaters. In this scenario everybody is subject to the same punishment, even if they are already being sanctioned, or already on probation. Some of these punishments will come off as especially harsh but you have to think about what comes along with an athletic scholarship besides just free tuition. So here we go…

If you’ve already graduated:

This is for guys like Chris Webber, Reggie Bush, Maurice Clarett, and when the time comes, Cam Newton. If you’re caught in any type of improper benefits, your school vacates any wins, losses, and statistics related to the games you played in. That means if you have a teammate who set some sort of school or conference record of note, it’s like it never happened. And if they do point at this player’s statistics whoever is reporting it will have to say, “there is no recognition of this because his teammate, So-and-so Doe, received improper benefits resulting in the removal of this particular record.”

Furthermore, the school will forfeit one athletic scholarship for the amount of time that person attended school. If it’s basketball, and this student athlete is a “one and done,” that school will forfeit one scholarship for one year. The student athlete found guilty will pay back the one-year tuition with interest to the NCAA. The school will not receive the funds for obvious reasons. I’d like to forfeit one scholarship for four years, but I’m not that bad of a guy.

If you cheat while you attend the university:

This is for guys like Cam Newton (allegedly), AJ Green, AJ Price, the Model Citizens in Columbus, or anybody driving drunk, found with drugs, or fighting. If there is enough evidence to prove that there are warm coals, nevermind any sort of flame, that scholar athlete is benched immediately. That they don’t get to play in any conference tournaments, and they certainly don’t get to travel to any posh locales for an extended period of time for these games. If they have sat out an appropriate amount of time for their particular discretion, they can return immediately. If they are found guilty and further punishment is needed they will sit out accordingly. If this individual is a repeat offender, they get their scholarship revoked. Again, because I’m a good guy, they would not be kicked out of school. (Unless their actions would get any other student booted from the University). They would be put on probation and allowed to finish their education in order to find a career after they receive a degree. Why? Because they’re going to have to pay back the amount of time they were on scholarship with interest. This levels the playing field for the regular Joe’s stuck with student loans for the next 20 years. Once again, they pay the NCAA not that particular university.

The university will once again lose the scholarship for the amount of time that student athlete played for them. Repeat offenders will result in the removal of that scholarship for a full four years.The school will also be put on probation and watched closely by the NCAA.

If there are educational improprieties found at any point:

If any student athlete is found guilty of cheating all parties involved in the attempt to cheat will be dealt with accordingly. There are already strictly enforced rules for the regular Joe’s, so dealing with a prominent student athlete should be no different. If there are professors, TAs, tutors, or starstruck students aiding in the boosting of a grade, they will all be removed from the university

Students will of course need to pay back the tuition to the NCAA, and employees at the school will lose pensions and whatnot if the offense deems it necessary. There will also be repercussions for the students as they go forward in their professional field. All parties will have this impropriety attached to their personal record. Again, this goes for ALL parties involved, not just students and student athletes.

The one thing I didn’t mention throughout this is the money the universities make off their student athletes, and their accolades. If the uncovering of impropriety is bad enough I fully believe the university should have to pay back the money they receive for making these bowl games, Final Fours, and the like. This goes for coaches too. Any bonuses they accrue will not be honored, and if they have received them already, they will pay them back. As an aside, the show cause rules they have set up right now will be far more strict. That these coaches should not just be allowed to leave one university in shambles and immediately head to another for a fresh start.

The NCAA should not be let off the hook for how they handled events of the past either. I will be the first to recognize that they do not handle things uniformly. I know they normally go on a case-by-case basis. But how do you change something that’s been broken for so long? That’s for another time. As it is already, I’m probably the only who has made it this far down the page…


Futbol And Ochocinco.

As you are probably all aware Chad Ochocinco recently had a four day tryout with Sporting Kansas City of the MLS. Ochocinco had mentioned in many of his interviews that soccer was his first love, but that he hadn’t played competitively since high school. If you were able to see any of the footage of his tryout he looked like he hadn’t played since high school. However, I don’t know that he would’ve made the varsity team at the high school I attended.

The reason I bring this up is because of what I noticed about the players he was grouped with. They looked equally as rusty and uncoordinated. I don’t know if these were guys that were also trying out for the club, or if these were individuals that already occupied roster spots. I’m really hoping for the former over the latter. If it were a tryout the individuals defending Ochocinco had ample opportunity to poke the ball away, and the goalies allowed some soft goals. I know this sounds pedantic, but it’s minor details like this that irk me.

Despite sounding overly negative and bitter, I’d like to say, good for you Ochocinco. I really believe you are a soccer fan based on your trip overseas this past year. You got to see some teams play in person that most of us will only see on TV. And thank you for showing everybody that soccer is better than what many Americans imagine it to be. Congratulations on being an honorary member of Sporting Kansas City, keep working on that foot speed and coordination in case the lockout gets really ugly. I’ll be rooting for you.


The Way It Is (Death to The BCS)

Great job as usual over at Mocksession. Go check ‘em out.